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Thread: eyes cannot see...

  1. #1
    Inactive Member ranter's Avatar
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    eyes cannot see without light-my life is not dark, clouded in a shroud of an abscence of colors-i look and i look and i look yet i cannot see-i try to overcome this blindness-yet try i might, yet try i may, yet try i as must- oh hum-so let me move closer-the darkness only moves away further-another step forward!?! another step further!?! hhmmm let me direct this darkness into the light-wait, NO! the light has vanished, only to be replaced by this rover of the unseen- my unseeable fascination-let me scan my eyes here-NO-there-NO-i cannot close in on my obsession-why must it taunt me so-what have i dont to deserve this-let me reach my hand out forth to grab hold and pull it to me-let us enrapture-let us entwine for ever more-<gasp>-no, the darkness has vanished away only to be replaced...

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    Senior Hostboard Member Hannibal's Avatar
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    Makes me think of a person, drunk, who knows what they're trying to say, and is saying it, but, is interjecting questions to themselves knowing the answers. It was good, I liked it. Struck me as a little odd in spots, but it went together with idea quite well. Nice job.

  3. #3
    Inactive Member machinery's Avatar
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    (pretending not knowing what this one is about) took as a "seceda" poem (by parch) could read it over and over with a different perspective.....if you want to get that subject across more.....include it's movement.....etc etc...

    but very inner feeling on this.....you had head thoughts put down on text..and it was beautiful......nice work man.

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